Why did the chicken cross the road?

From the mailbox (chicken photo courtesy of Kris Ablan's scan):

Here's why according to some famous local personalities:

President GMA:
Hello Garci. Alamin mo nga kung bakit tumawid ang chicken.

Former Comelec Commissioner Virgilio Garcillano:
Sige po ma'am. Gagawan natin ng paraan. Ipapakidnap ko ang mga sisiw.

Susan Roces:
Let us remain calm. Let us follow the rule of law in determining the chicken's motive for crossing the road.

Former President Joseph Estrada:
Ako na naman? Pati ba naman pagtawid ng manok, sa akin isisisi?

Press Secretary Ignacio Bunye:
That chicken which allegedly crossed the road is a fake. We have the real chicken in our coop!

Sen. Ping Lacson:
I have asked a foreign group to authenticate the taxonomic classification of that animal which crossed the road. No doubt, it was indeed a chicken.

Former Sen. Kit Tatad:
I did my own authentication. The chicken is real.

Bro. Mike Velarde:
Tiyak 'yon.

NBI Director Reynaldo Wycoco:
Both chickens are fake.

Archbishop Oscar Cruz:
I have witnesses to prove that the chicken crossed the road.

Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism Blog:
We have the complete audio and video of the chicken crossing the road. Download here.

Atty. Allan Paguia:
I admit! I spliced the chicken but only for my post-graduate class. I didn't fry it. In fact it's still alive.

Cong. Chiz Escudero:
Once and for all, I am challenging the chicken. The public is waiting for its answer. Did it cross the road or not. If yes, why? If no, I still won't believe it.

Atty. Samuel Ong:
It was looking for its mother. But the chicken won't find it because I am keeping the mother of all chickens.

Sgt. Vidal Doble:
It was forced to cross the road.

Sen. Aquilino Pimentel:
Impeach the chicken!

Bayan Muna Rep. Teddy Casiño:
The chicken has betrayed the motorists' trust when it crossed the road. Fry it!

Sandra Cam:
The chicken has laid dozens of chicken eggs across the road. I was personally asked by the chicken - which happened to be my close friend - to deliver the eggs to Congressmen Mikey and Iggy Arroyo. But please, do not insinuate that I had a special relationship with the chicken. It was just a friend.

Cong. Mikey Arroyo:
That chicken is a liar! I never received a single egg from that animal.

Cong. Ignacio Arroyo:
I will file a libel case against the chicken!

NTC Commissioner:
That's fowl. You should not discuss that on air. Else, we shall revoke your franchise.

KBP:
Fowl or not, the NTC's circular is curtailment of press freedom.